Suddenly feel veri insignificant in this world...i have no real directions in life, no real goals, no big plans, i give myself too many excuses, too little gets done, too lost, too in denial.

again, i am drifting...

again, on another note, it really does annoy me, i know i should not be but i really do get annoyed, crazy, womanisers will always be womanisers.

Womanisers, the type of guys who love and are good at socialising amongst girls, likesand know (or so they think they know) girl talks, they think they're charming and irresistable and know-it-all when it comes to girls.

come on

bugger it all...anyone wants to go on a backpacking world trip ???

who says frens last forever and they're reliable...well no i guess not afterall.

I've learnt a valuable lesson today..u cant judge a book by its cover...what lies underneath the surface is beyond what u see, the ugly truth that people try to keep hidden. I saw the true disgusting nature of human being.

Today i went to court with a client and i clearly experienced how humiliating and horrible the whole experience is, i felt as though i was the victim only it would be 10 times worse if i was. i so wanted to protect the client, i wanted to kill off the evil bastard who had the guts to stand before everyone and flat out lie, i hated the bastard's barrister for his evil tactics and attacks upon the client, i wanted to overthrow the screwed up court procedures...it was all WRONG, the world is wrong and all twisted persons living in this world need to go and dig their own graves and die.

You would never be able to tell wat evil deeds a person has done, the next person u brush pass or the passenger u sit next to, he or she could be a rapist or an axe murderer, these ppl could be anywhere and everywhere, then , who can u really trust? the nicest person u meet next may be a monster hidden under human skin, u think they'r trustworthy? u think they r honest? big mistake.

SO ugly, i hope these ppl get more than what they deserve, no remorse for these ppl.

Turn of Events

Wow u wont believe it but about the trip that i was told i cannot go, well now i can! it was so unexpected i was shocked to be told this...now ive come to terms and the next step is...planning of the trip ! that means $$$ heeee..
I still cant get over the fact that i've been given permission to go....it is such a big leap forward.
Thank you mum and dad...i know it is not an easy decision for u.
yay!

11th June

i feel like my dreams have been smashed...i'm really upset...i've been so looking forward to this holiday, now its gone...what is there to look forward to..im really hanging for one..i dun want to upset my parents at the same time this is my life and i should be able to live it the way i want. i understand where they're coming from but pls allow me to explore a bit, the world's evolved and u gotta understand that things work diffrently nowadays...pls..
im so angry and upset...im stubborn but i do respect..i dun think theres much point going anymore, i dont think i can enjoy it and i'd prob do something that will upset them while there.
i wanna scream, but i know i wont...really am not happy.

Life and Death

This is a post for last Fri, really feel like doing one..

Friday, 7th March 2008
Went to work as per usual in the morning, thanking god that it was at last end of the week! As i was settling in at my desk i received a tragic news from Annie...an ex-resident B passed away. I heard that the police called Fri morning and told us that she was found dead in Hyde Park Thursday nite. I was veri shocked, didnt know wat to think, police did not know how she died or wat happened..it took me a while to process this news..then i started thinking about her and when i last saw her...this was only a few months ago, who would have thought this will happen, i didnt know wat to think, she was someone i worked closely with for a long time...when i thought about this i got so saddened by it all, had to tell myself not to think about it too much as it'll for sure affect the rest of my day at work...and then i managed to throw the news to the back of mah head, then i felt numb almost as though i wasnt affected by it anymore...its so strange, i feel like i should mourn more and cry more, but it juz didnt happen, how strange...
Thx to my colleagues who cared.
God bless B..

3days before long wkend

I dun rememba since when have i learnt to become fake, i dun understand why i always say 'sorri' when it wasnt necessary or when i dun mean it from my heart. Why do i type 'heheeee' at times when it seriously is not funni or when i'm alreadi in a foul mood. why do ppl do things that they do? to avoid potential hassles, to put up a front, to make themselves look good, to fit in?? i dunno...i'm going to try to think twice before i say these 'favourite quotes' of mine and see wat happens...

Had a stressful day today, things juz kept happening...was feeling on edge, home's awefully quiet...hope everything will be alright.

Rainy weekend

Today was a wet day...we went to Florence's picnic at Centennial Park next to the duck pond. There was SO much food prepared...all veri yummy thanks for inviting Flo!! We left at around 3pm, went to Daryl jai's place to pick up John's watch and then went back to John's place, we spent some time watching the TW show 'Mo Garn Do But Do', some parts were hilarious!

We then headed out to Maggie and Ah Mun's place for hot pot...I must say they were so funny ppl and had a good laugh with them haaaa...once again there were lots of yummy hot pot food, my fav being tofu and the assorted fish balls...mmmm...Left their place at around 11pm and then went home...

Gum marn nogor dei yau yau mun tai la, dai ga yau wai yut d si yi ng hoi sum, dai ga do ho chi pei hei ng ho, gau do hei fun ho gwai...

Yau si woon gan, gan yu gor ngor dei yau d meh ng ho geh si, gum dim ton auck kei gau doi le? kei suck do ng hai ho ji ji gei shearn dim, ho par geng ying jor gum loi ge gwan hai woon suck bai, yau par ng eye gau woon ng jing sheun, woon moon, dai hai yau ho ng jong yi yau owl gill ge gum gok...ho gan..

Friday 18th January

Today we went to Holy Cow Indian at Surry Hills for dinna...its really tasty yummmm...the only down side is that i now STINK!! really badly kee..

For some reason today feels like a long day for me, felt like i was at work forever...its finally the weekend but its rainy...a littel disappointed but o wellz!

Been trying to organise a 1 night trip for next weekend, i juz dun get why it is this hard to achieve...everybody 'lau lau ling ling'...aiii :(

Besides that, i've been yau d ng hoi sum about something...li gin si ling ngor siu ng chut...

My first...in a long while anyway

Here we go...I've been contemplating lately whether or not to do a blog. My last blog xangy still exists to my surprise, i thought they may have wiped it away since its now covered in thick dust.
When i reopened xangy, somehow i didnt wanna write in it anymore, i guess its cos i've left it for this long, many many things changed and it just didnt seem right to add stuff in there anymore...also its full of old things and ppl from the past, and i thought to myself, if im going to do one, i might as well start afresh..
I'm juz not a hard-core blogger, there are ppl who updates their blog daily and talks about the tiniest things in their lives, well me...lets juz wait and find out :p
I believe for me, my desire to blog comes from what im feeling today and whats been going through my head, today i'm in 2 frames of mind, one of relief bcos i've finally completed something i've been procrastinating about, and secondly Im feeling frustrated and let down cos of something...
We're heading for a wet wkend looks like...which means 2 of the activites planned for the wkend may be called off...well lets hope for the best..